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Secret Writer Hoodoo

Journal Entry: Wed Jul 2, 2008, 10:23 PM
  • Mood: Torment
  • Listening to: Optimus Rhyme
  • Reading: V for Vendetta
  • Watching: Dexter
At the risk of being taken seriously, I'm gonna divulge my technical secrets, just a little.

First, coffee. Don't question the caffeine, it is all-knowing, all-loving, and all-begetting. Always coffee. Coffee is your mom, your god, your lover. Freud wanted to have sex with coffee and you should too.
Snacks are good, since excess coffee will burn a hole in the un-trained intestine. As a writer you will develop guts of steel and balls of iron, or you will perish.

Background noise is excellent. Music is good, movies or TV shows on DVD are best. I can watch an entire season of Stargate and write three short stories in the same day. The TV acts to drown out both outside influences, and the mind, opening one to the writer trance a little more.

Write 4-8 hours a day. Read 4-8 hours a day. Masturbate at least 15 hours a day. That's all writing is, is wanking your verbal cock all over the place, so as to leave the reader hot and dripping with your sticky wit and wisdom juice, sore and sweaty, panting for more.

Most important of all, is of course sacrificing black cats by the midnight moon. Boil them alive, clean the bones, and find the magic bone. Make a pen out of it, and write in crow's blood.
Actually, being unable to pour out unedited bullshit by the gallon is most important. Just write whatever comes into/through you, no matter what it is. Don't ever reread anything until you have reached the end of the piece, and never question anything before it's on paper.

Writing is a physical process, much like crime scene investigation or full contact theatre. You have to jump around, act things out to see them in action. They say write what you know. I say live what you write, like a method actor.

The key to the whole pie machine is this: believe nothing, try everything, and live as if you were a real human being.

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 108
  • Current Residence: Kamloops, BC
  • Interests: the esoteric arts of sex, drugs, and rock & roll
  • Favourite movie: A Scanner Darkly, Rock Horror Picture Show, Yojimbo, Cecil B. Demented
  • Favourite band or musician: Tool, Chopin, Immortal Technique, Brant Bjork, Pink Floyd
  • Favourite genre of music: Stoner rock, acid rock, electronica, trace, hip-hop, industrial, goth rock, prog
  • Favourite artist: Alex Grey, Luke Brown, Universe, Carey Thompson
  • Favourite poet or writer: Clive Barker, Neil Gaiman, Hunter S Thompson, William S. Burroughs, Robert A. Heinlein
  • Favourite photographer: Kay, vanillya
  • Favourite style of art: Film
  • Operating System: windows XPenis
  • MP3 player of choice: Foobar
  • Shell of choice: Leonardo da Ninja Turtle
  • Wallpaper of choice: Human flesh
  • Skin of choice: Fore!
  • Favourite game: Ratchet & Clank 2, Soul Calibur 3
  • Favourite gaming platform: Xbox
  • Favourite cartoon character: Fritz the Cat
  • Personal Quote: Life is meaningless, purposeless. The future is an adventure to be enjoyed.
  • Tools of the Trade: Infants blood and bat semen, quill pen, baboon skin parchment, coffee.

deviantART Notice

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Devious Comments

~davidadge:icondavidadge: May 3, 2008, 11:50:19 AM
Hey, I might be up in August, after Shambhala. I gotta get stuff set up in Kamloops first. But yeah, reunion tour is coming up for sure!

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Shhhhh.... My common sense is tingling!
~odavis:iconodavis: Apr 22, 2008, 7:28:16 AM
Thanks for adding "Union Of The Snake" to your favourites! :D
~vippy:iconvippy: Apr 18, 2008, 9:34:28 AM
heya! hows it going? Just thought i'd say since haven't said much to u in awhile. :9 you going to be in whitehore anytime soon, if so we should hang out. like old times. -nods-

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"Muu.."*wags tail*
~blacher:iconblacher: Mar 26, 2008, 8:08:33 PM
RULES:
1- You can kiss the person who kissed you!
2- You can't kiss the person more than 3 times
3- You -MUST- kiss 6 other people
4- You should kiss them in public! Paste it on their user page! c'mon..don't be scared of public displays of affection
5- Random kisses are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
6- You should most definitely get started kissing right away!

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Send to 10 of your friends to show them how much luv u have for them.

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Bite me. Very hard. Right there.
~Psychosweetness:iconPsychosweetness: Feb 10, 2008, 4:58:45 PM
Thanks for the fav! :D

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"I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period." ~ Bella Swan ~ Twilight
~coco1986:iconcoco1986: Jan 23, 2008, 3:37:41 PM Mood: Cheerful
Hi!
Thank you for the f......

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就算身在他乡, 也改变不了我的中国心!:firelite-photo:

:bulletred: My stock:[link]

:bulletred: Welcome to China!:hug:
*introvertevent:iconintrovertevent: Dec 11, 2007, 6:45:13 AM








:flowerpot:










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_51_


che calza a pennello...
~ceres86:iconceres86: May 27, 2007, 5:39:00 AM
Thanks for the :+fav:
:glomp:
Your gallery is very pretty!! :D

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~TweekFreak:iconTweekFreak: May 24, 2007, 2:28:09 PM
thanks for the favourite man :hug:
*psydsirius:iconpsydsirius: May 5, 2007, 6:09:21 AM
Thank-you for adding "Xochipilli" to your fav"s!!!!
~Astral-Haze:iconAstral-Haze: Apr 27, 2007, 10:40:41 PM
thanks a lot for the :+fav:

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<--RIDE THE PSYCHIC SURF TO MY GALLERY-->

:meditation: [link] :meditation:
~Gnomosapien:iconGnomosapien: Apr 27, 2007, 2:41:39 PM Mood: Joy
um bungo fa mungo favorito da tungo

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if your not confused your not thinking clearly.
~avoidperil18:iconavoidperil18: Apr 26, 2007, 10:27:53 PM
thank you very much for the fave. i am so honored. :hug:

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"i want to stick needles & pins then break your bones!!!" :headbang:
~SilkTheChef:iconSilkTheChef: Apr 25, 2007, 9:59:18 AM
thanks heaps for the fave!
~loukYss:iconloukYss: Apr 22, 2007, 4:05:43 PM
Hey, thanks ;)

Hope you would like next ones !
~Linkakami:iconLinkakami: Apr 2, 2007, 10:45:22 PM
Thanks for the fave.

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If you are a fan-person defending a popular artist, don't bother responding to my posts. Your love is as false as water.
*Phraggle:iconPhraggle: Mar 29, 2007, 3:44:47 PM
You have good taste for only being 3 years old. ;-)

Thanks for the fav! :wave:

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" Don't Hate me cuz I'm Fraggle "
:stormtrooper: :frog: :frog: :frog: :cylon: :frog: :frog: :frog: :stormtrooper:
=catzzzrule:iconcatzzzrule: Mar 26, 2007, 2:10:11 PM
thanks for the fav <3

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We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality. -- Judy Garland
~zenphoenixa:iconzenphoenixa: Mar 11, 2007, 12:23:39 AM
G’day dear! :D Thankyou verily muchos for adding me to your watch list, and I’ll do my best not to disappoint! *Swears on it* :salute: Here, have some :cookie: :cookie: in the meantime! ^^

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Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticise them, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes. :D

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Save the World! NC-17 the Bish!
*EarthGoddess:iconEarthGoddess: Mar 2, 2007, 7:02:47 PM
Thank you so much for the :+fav: :hug:

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My Prints [link]
My Stock [link]
Gifts and Prints [link]
*SleepDep:iconSleepDep: Feb 24, 2007, 9:21:47 PM
Hey there! thanks so much for the fave! ^_^

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"This synthesiser is by far the best I have heard, because it varies the intonation, and doesn't speak like a Dalek. The only trouble is that it gives me an American accent." - Stephen Hawking

Plutonium gimme pop...nothing better.
~silverdreams2000:iconsilverdreams2000: Feb 17, 2007, 7:15:10 AM
Thanks for the Fav :)

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~Silverdreams2000
"Just because your paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you"
My Gallery [link]
My Shop [link]
*cme:iconcme: Feb 14, 2007, 2:36:39 AM
Thank U fer the watch! =)

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For God so loved the world he gave his one and only son, That whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17
*EarthGoddess:iconEarthGoddess: Feb 6, 2007, 7:48:35 PM
Thank you so much for the :+fav:ss :hug: :heart:

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My Prints [link]
My Stock [link]
Gifts and Prints [link]